An Unexpected Holiday

So the time had come to take a 3 week vacation in my native homeland of England. Other than my Mum, who had helped me organise it, only my cousin knew because she helped book a room in the same hotel as the olds. The secret was set, and the time was upon me to pack up my stuff and leave. The only problem was that I was running late in getting back to the hostel to do so. Traffic was terrible and the taxi drivers are not knowledgeable of the quickest routes. If they even know the location, it is a slice of luck.

I still needed a taxi to get me to the airport as well but the current one didn’t want to wait for me to sort my stuff. So I ran into the hostel, packed my bag to the best of my ability and got another taxi. In fairness, I arrived at the airport with plenty of time but everything seemed like a panic beforehand. Once there, I found out that I forgot to purchase the exit taxes for Colombia and needed to do so before I boarded the plane. This involved taking money out and going to another desk and then back to check in.

Having done this I proceeded to the desk to pass my luggage over. Standard weight limit for hold luggage is 23kg, I had no idea how much mine weighed. What I did know was that my backpack weighed the equivalent of a small human, fully clothed, with shoes. As always, it is good to rest your backpack on the sides of the weigh-belt to lighten the load a little. It was lucky I did that as my bag weighed in at 23.0kg on the dot. With my bag on its way to England (hopefully), I passed through security and awaited my flight.

My route was Bogotá to Madrid, followed by Madrid to London with a duration of 15 hours or so. It was an afternoon flight from here so I would arrive in London, with the time difference added, just before lunch. I had planned to watch a movie, try and sleep a bit after dinner, watch another movie and fall asleep for the night. I normally watch rubbish movies as that has the effect of shutting my eyes for me automatically. What actually happened was what I had planned but without the sleeping.

Seeing as the sleep was obviously not forthcoming, I opted for the alcohol to help you sleep option. I asked for a beer and when he bought it over he left without me paying. When I went to order the next, I asked him how much it was. He told me it was included, so I ordered two instead. I couldn’t believe that I had wasted all this time drinking water when there was free booze, I was halfway through the flight already. After a bit, the cabin crew just kept bringing two beers every time they made eye contact with me.

So plan B failed as well and sleep never came, not even on the early morning flight from Madrid to London. Landing in London was a bit of a shock but it felt good. My only jumper had been stolen in the last week along with my toiletries bag, and as I am sure you all know, England is cold and wet. Passing through the airport securities was a little bit difficult. The silly machines did work with my passport so I had to go to a desk where a police officer had to take a look. He was really nice, friendly but had to take a double look due to the change in my appearance since my passport photo.

The whole of my journey had gone really smoothly to be fair and I was now back in London. By chance, my visit was pretty busy with things to do. Steven, Emily, Ella and Lauren were having a family party, celebrating three of their birthdays and successful exam results for the girls. This was where the surprise for Dad, with me being his present, would happen. I had arrived on Wednesday and this was Saturday night, so I had a bit of time to wait.

I had planned to meet Woody with his 6 month baby at 3pm at Paddington Station. This left me time to pop into my old workplace, The Hippodrome, to say hello to a few people. Funnily, my old boss Jo and I had swapped haircuts with her now sporting a shorter do, and myself with similar hair to how hers was before. It was really nice to say hello and give her a hug but the trip had to be quick as I was short on time. I arrived at Paddington and met Woody, Carolyn and Poppy, albeit quickly. Poppy had a monumental butt explosion on the train and she needed immediate cleaning.

That night I went for a beer and curry with Woody but started to feel sick. We returned home early and I went straight to bed, having realised that I had been awake for a very long time and travelled a fairly long way. The next day Woody had planned to see an old friend of ours in Bristol who had been in a terrible hit and run accident. He was lucky to be alive so I took this opportunity to go see him too. It was only a day trip but a couple of hours with Jon was really nice. We returned to London in the evening for a relaxing evening.

The following day was Friday which meant Fat Freddy’s Drop day. I had arrived back in town just in time to see a gig of one of my favourite bands. To make it better, I had a friend from Colombia who was going to see them too but she didn’t know I was in London. To make it even better, Owain was their booking agent so we all had VIP entrance and used the same bar as the band used. The gig was amazing as was the rest of the night, as we met with friends afterwards to go out for some drinks. This meant for a late night but that was alright with me.

So now we come to Saturday and the day of the secret being revealed. I got to the hotel early to prevent anyone seeing me. I left the hotel for a pub around the corner to hide, and also to watch the England v New Zealand game. Mum let me know of their arrival at the hotel and that they were sitting in the bar. I had waited for over a year to see them so I didn’t think an extra 20 minutes would matter and I decided to watch the end of the match. As I left the pub I headed towards the hotel and saw them sitting right in the window looking down on my arrival route. So I put my hood up, hid myself and strutted my way across the car park.

As I made my way into the bar area, Dean was stood at the bar and he clocked me straight away. I put my finger on my lips and he kept the silence until I turned the corner to see everyone. Dad had to take a second look before he realised who I was and Hollie though I was a waiter or something. Embarrassingly, Dean and I were wearing almost an identical t-shirt. With this surprise out of the way, Jan, Zoe, Nick and Kim arrived for round 2 followed by Dean and Hollie issuing a surprise of their own.

That night was spent at a Mexican joint drinking, dancing, eating and celebrating with the family. It was a really good night if not a little late and overindulgent. Following a brunch at Steven and Emily’s place, we headed back to Denmead to have one last surprise. This time it was Nanna who was the target. Upon arrival, I went through to her living room and offered her a cup of tea. She looked at me, looked away and had to take a second look, similar to Dad. After over 2 years of waiting for a hug, she remained seated for a while. She said that she thought she had fallen asleep and was dreaming.

Much time was spent with the family including shopping trips with Nanna and Mum to get me some Christmas presents to take back with me to Panama. With Dad, I played some golf, which was semi-successful for us both and we also spent some time in the spa at the golf course. I also had a visit from another friend, Tranny, who had a miniature version of him since I had left. At around 15 months old, Fred was a spitting image of his dad and was just as mischievous. They actually came round for roast dinner which turned out to be Tranny’s second of the day.

After the family time, I went back up to London to catch up with some friends again and then catch my flight out of the country. The last night was spent at a friend’s house in Slough because it was close to the airport to catch my 6am flight. In hindsight, Kyle is a bit of a bad influence on me (and vice versa), so this night was handled with caution. We went for a few beers and a game of snooker before returning back to his flat with a bit more drink. He managed to stay up until 3:30am which is when my taxi was coming.

Having said goodbye, I got in the cab, a tad drunk and made my way to Heathrow. The driver asked me which terminal I was going to, I didn’t know. I checked my boarding pass that I had downloaded on my phone and told him to go to terminal 4. When I arrived, it looked a little quiet but before I could stop the taxi, he had left. I double checked my boarding pass and realised that it was terminal 4 in Madrid on my change-over flight. Oops! This was not a good situation as terminal 4 in Heathrow was empty. There was no transport or taxis outside. There was no train service between the terminals and nobody could help me with a way to get there.

Fortunately, a bus for terminal 5 turned up and was a free service to get me to the right place. I arrived with time to relax a little bit but for a moment, the panic had set in. Once on the plane, I slept for the flight to Madrid, changed planes and then took full advantage of the free bar. We had a severe bit of turbulence and everyone was chundering all around me. The only discomfort I had was the wait for the next bottle of wine as the seat belt sign was staying on for long spells. Other than that, everything went smoothly and I arrived in Panama City to pretty much go straight to bed. The next day I relaxed and then played some pool with old friends I knew from the previous time here.

The following night, I went to go and see Carl, the owner of Jungleland. He invited 2 of the current volunteers round to his place as well and started to ply us with booze. He then kicked us out so we went to Casco Viejo to party and dance. Before I knew it, it was nearly 6am and I had to be back at Carls at 8am to start my first day back at Jungleland. A quick trip to bed, followed by a torturous morning helping Carl do some shopping before we made our way back to the floating lodge.

On route to the dock, Carl spotted a sloth just about to cross the road. This was a sloth with a death wish. They are incredibly slow and awkward when on the ground, literally dragging themselves by their elongated nails. With that said, we stopped the car, I jumped out and helped him get to the other side. He thanked me by posing like a karate sloth for a picture. Now back at Jungleland, I will be doing the same as last year for the next 6 months depending on whether the Canal Authority shut him down or not. This is a major problem at the moment but hopefully will sort itself out as it truly is a magical place to see wildlife and nature. It seems silly to prevent other people from seeing this place in the future.