Flowaine’s Visit

We had arranged to meet Flo and Owaine (or Flowaine for short) at the airport at 10am, which we did, but we were unable to leave the airport until much later due to Flo’s bag being left in America by the airline company. It fortunately arrived when they said it did but we ended up leaving the airport at around 2pm in the end. The plan was to hire a car and drive north to our first destination, San Augustin Lanquin, to spend a day at Semuc Champey, a set of stunningly beautiful waterfalls and natural swimming pools. Having been delayed by the late arrival of Flo’s bag and then the palaver that followed whilst trying to hire a car, we were never going to make it there on the first day. The car hire company was charging $10 a day for each of us to hire a car, which made it worthwhile but when we arrived at the office, numerous extras where added on taking the total up to $17 a day each.

Having eventually agreed to the extra costs, I got in the driver’s seat and we set off on our way towards Semuc, on reasonably smooth and surprisingly decent roads. We were warned by the lady in the office and by numerous other people that it was not safe to drive too late at night with the risk of bandits and generally bad people lurking in the darkness. With this in mind, we decided to stop off in Coban where we found semi-cheap accommodation. The next day it was Flo’s turn to drive and it is safe to say that his roads were a lot less maintained than the ones I had driven the previous day. Once to you get to the turning to Semuc, you have to travel 13km on a dry and rocky dirt track, never getting out of 2^nd gear, spending most of your time in 1^st gear. We were fully covered on the car so it didn’t matter if we trashed it, but we needed it for another week at least, so a little caution had to be taken. By now though, there was an engine warning light on and the speedometer and odometer had both stoped working. When we got to Lanquin, 11km from Semuc and the furthest you could drive without a 4×4, we stopped at El Retiro, somewhere Alex had researched beforehand. We pitched our tents up right next to the river that ran through their grounds and went out to explore the village.

After some food, we decided to take a walk to the top of the nearest peak we could see, hoping to get a panoramic view of the area and maybe see Semuc in the distance. The hike was fairly intense with a path made of rocks jutting out from the mountain and the heat and humidity was energy sapping. Alex was struggling a little bit and at her speed, we were never going to make it to the top before dark let alone back down again. Fairly close to the top, but not quite there, Alex decided enough was enough and had to stop. Flo and I decided to wait with her as Owaine had pursued ahead by himself. Owaine wanted to get to the top so he continued off by himself and eventually made it. We didn’t have much time as the sun was setting, and in the jungle it can get dark quicker than normal. This was when we heard Owaine shouting with a hint of distress in his tone of voice. He had managed to lose his path on the way back and couldn’t find us. After throwing a few trees in the air, so he could locate us, he ploughed straight through the thick vegetation to make his way back to us. The vegetation was over head height and reasonably abrasive too. He followed the sound of us shouting and eventually appeared out the scrubs covered in cuts, scratches and random pieces of plants.

Having made it to safety, just as the light was disappearing, we grabbed a well-earned beer or two and headed back to El Retiro. Much to our joy, we found out they were doing an all you can eat BBQ buffet, which they do every night with varying food styles, for approximately $6-$7. There was so much food and the variety was amazing. Salads, vegetables, meats, breads and sauces, all in abundance and all really tasty. Some of us even went up for thirds, with a plate full each time. The owner of the bar also stated that it was one of his barman’s birthdays, so he duly handed out free tequila shots and cranked up the music. I personally think he was telling a lie and it was just a ploy to get people drinking, but it worked and we had few (too many) drinks and a little boogie.

The next day we woke up with a slight hangover and little energy but we had booked ourselves into the tour organised by El Retiro. This consisted of a candle lit cave tour with lots of swimming through caves and jumping off ledges in near blackout conditions. Alex managed to loose both her flip flops within seconds of swimming through the entrance passage of the first cave. She later found them on the feet of our tour guide after trouncing around bare foot for the best part of an hour. After the cave tour we paid a visit to a waterfall where you could swim for a bit and then ride back down the river on an inflatable donut. We got out of the river by the bridge that crossed it and were told we could jump off it if we wanted. At 12 metres up from the water’s surface, we all declined the jump apart from Flo, who climbed up to the highest possible point and took the leap of faith. Looking back now, I wish I had jumped off the bridge, but at the time, looking down from the bridge, there was no way I was going to jump.

After this, we walked to the entrance to Semuc where we had 30 mins to get some lunch before we went in to see Semuc Champey itself. First off we decided to walk all the way up the mountain side to a view point that looked over the waterfalls and pools. The view was pretty amazing but the place was heavily over-crowded so you were unable to peacefully enjoy the scenery. We made our way back down the mountain to the water and had a couple of hours to jump, swim and splash around in the waterfalls. We were then given a lift back to El Retiro where we decided it was in our best interests to eat the buffet again, which was Italian themed this time. The food was just as good and just as much was eaten again. When it’s all you can eat, you have to try to get your value for money.

The next day we set off for Tikal national park, right in the north of Guatemala. With thanks to Google maps, the shortest route was almost impossible to pass through, with roads that were only suitable for 4×4’s. We ended up in a small village that took us 2 hours to get through and back out the same way we came. There was a market blocking the road we needed to take, large lorries trying to get through narrow roads, a wedding passing through the village and tuk-tuks taking up whatever space was left over. Fortunately Flo was responsible for driving this leg of the journey, but I needed to take over afterwards due to the immense amount of stress he had just endured. With the time we lost going the wrong direction, we had to stop of in a small town called Sayaxche, with an extra warning light now present on the car’s dashboard. We ordered some food from a menu the guy from the hotel gave us. Being indecisive, I decided to take Flo’s word on the fact that the ‘chicken medallions’ would be good. He has them all time in France apparently and they are really nice. When my chicken nuggets turned up, it’s fair to say I was a little bit disappointed.

The next day we had plenty of time to do the last leg to Tikal National Park so it was possible to stop off for breakfast next to the huge lake. We even had time to take a swim in the warm but refreshing water and catch a bit of sun before heading further north. When we arrived at Tikal, we were told that we could pay after 3pm and our ticket would be valid the next day. We arrived just before 3pm so we took a walk through the surrounding jungle with hopes of spotting some wildlife. Other than a couple of monkeys in the distance, the only wildlife we encountered were mosquitos.

Once we got inside the national park, we found an area to camp and took a stroll around the ruins. The national park itself is massive and you need a few hours to see it all. We left the park after it was dark, walking through jungle paths and taking the odd shortcut. We made a fire and took an early night as we had planned to get up early the next morning to watch the sunrise from Temple IV, one or the larger structures. Somehow we all managed to get up at 5am and make it to the entrance by about 5:45am and luckily they let us in. It opened officially at 6am, without paying extra for early admission, but sunrise was minutes after that. I was really keen to see the sunrise so as soon as I was in the park, I sprinted off to try and reduce the 30 minute walk into 15 minutes maximum. I had planned my shortcut and knew exactly where I was heading apart from the fact that the maps are not accurate and the signage is often wrong. I managed to keep up a jog the majority of the way, even when I was heading off, deep into the jungle on the wrong path. Fortunately my instincts told me it was not the correct route, which was confirmed by the sign I saw on the way back out. It wasn’t all bad as I manage to hear howler monkeys above my head and some noise that I can’t even guess what it was apart from the fact that it sounded massive and scary, and probably hungry.

I eventually made it to Temple IV and was then faced by the temple itself which I needed to climb. I knew I could still make it in time for the sunrise due to the relative darkness that was still surrounding me, so I sprinted up the temple. As I reached the top, an absolute sweaty panting mess, I turned the corner to the east facing side. There were about 50-60 people already there (they would have booked a sunrise tour from Flores) and the sky above the canopy was full of mist. You could literally not see 10-20m in front of you let alone see the other temples and definitely not see the sun. It was one of the biggest let downs ever but I was far too tired to care, it was just nice to sit down for a bit and breathe. The rest of the guys soon joined me and commented on how great the view was, obviously with a touch of sarcasm. We headed off after a bit to check out the rest of the temples and ruins and managed to catch some monkeys, deers and other bits of wildlife too.

We left Tikal to head into Belize to spend a couple of days on the beach in Placencia. Crossing the border was a nightmare. We had to pay extra money for the car (tax and insurance), empty the car of all our belongings so it could be searched (very briefly), Alex was interviewed in a room just because she was Romanian and in total a couple of hours was wasted just trying to get into Belize. Once we had managed to get onto Belizean soil, the scenery on the drive was breathtakingly beautiful. We arrived in Placencia and even more time wasted trying to get money out of ATM’s. My card was the only one that worked and that was a one off lucky transaction. We had some dinner, as we were all starving, and went looking for somewhere to stay. Being around 9pm on a Friday night, this proved to be very difficult. All the owners were out or the receptions desks were closed. After trouncing around for far too long, we ended up pitching our tents on the beach and spent the night there.

We found a hostel to camp in for the next few nights and enjoyed relaxing on beautiful white sand beaches for the next few days. All of our cards were still unusable so I was paying for everyone with what I managed to get out on the first night. That money ran out fairly soon so we had to find an Italian Gelato shop that Alex managed to change some Euros in. Once that had run out, we had to pay with our cards, but that would involve a transaction fee each time we used them. On the last night, we went to a restaurant and found out at the end that they didn’t accept cards, or their machine was down or something. That was when we found out that you could go to the Chinese supermarket and get as much cashback as you wanted for a small fee. If we knew this earlier, it would have collectively saved us hundreds of Pounds with the lengthy calls we had to make to the banks back home.

Having enjoyed our beach days, it was now time to head back to Guatemala and drop the car back in the city. We drove towards 3 hours to get to the southern border between Belize and Guatemala. As we came close, there was a bridge with a sign saying that there was no access so we followed another sign that pointed towards a border. A very rocky drive later and we came to a dead end. One of the locals told us that it was a border crossing by foot only and that it was not possible for cars but we could head back to the bridge and cross there. So we headed back the way we came and when we arrived at the bridge, the military descended the high embankments either side of us and came for a chat. Fortunately they all found it funny that we had driven all this way to a border that wasn’t completed yet and sent us on our way.

So 3 hours back the same way we had come, passing Placencia, and another few hours to get to the border. Crossing the border was much smoother this time, other than a fee for washing our car as we passed through, but the time was still against us due to our Google Maps diversion again. So we stopped off in Flores and we went to the same place Alex and I had went previously, knowing there would be vacancies and it would be cheap. The next morning we got up as early as we could, around 6am, and got on our way. We had to get the car back to Guatemala City by 3pm and it was going to be rushed. We had made good time and were on schedule according to the sat nav’s ETA. All that was left, was to pass the mountainous area before entering the city. Halfway up the first long and steep ascent, the car started to play up. The engine kept losing power intermittently and caused the car to kangaroo its way up the mountain. It was like I was learning to drive and had no clutch control but it was purely the car, I swear.

Through my expert driving technique, feathering and pumping the throttle, we managed to make it up the first mountain where we thought it was best to rest the car for a bit. After a short break, the car was performing much better, until we had to go up the next mountain. Now it was much worse and becoming a slight danger with lorries and chicken buses whizzing past us on the winding mountain roads. We were never going to get the car back in time with all these problems so, without rushing, we managed to get the car up the second mountain and coast it down the other side. At this point it was necessary to stop at a mechanics to see if it would improve or be possible to get the car to the city. The guy at the mechanics had a quick look and did a quick clean of some engine parts before telling us that we had no chance making over the last mountain.

I called the car hire company and they told us that everything was covered and that we needed to wait an hour before we would get a tow truck and a ride back to the city. During the wait at the mechanics, Owaine managed to witness a local getting knocked off their bike by a massive lorry. Fortunately it was only a passing blow and the guy was drunk enough not to seriously injure himself. The tow truck arrived, scooped up our battered car and we got into the pick-up they sent for us as transport. The guy asked us where we were heading and we said the rental office, but then an idea came to mind. I phoned the car company and asked them if we needed to come with the car back to the office. Seeing as we were apparently fully covered, we didn’t need to be there for the vehicle checks. I also told him that we had missed our bus due to the delays caused by the broken car and that it’s only fair if we got a lift to our next destination, Antigua. He eventually agreed and we managed to get the 3 hour journey (with traffic) straight to Antigua, in a taxi, without having to pay a penny.

We stayed in Antigua for a couple of days so Flowaine could buy some souvenirs and we could all get some washing done. Then we headed to Lake Atitlan, a beautiful lake surrounded by 3 large volcanoes and lots of small villages. Some are more touristy than others but they all retain their local culture away from the tourist areas, which happen to be on the lake mainly. We got a bus to Panajachel, the main entrance ‘port’ on the lake, and then a boat to San Pedro La Laguna, a small village at the base of a 3000m high volcano. We climbed this volcano on one of the days with the help of a stray dog, who followed us all the way from town, and a random dude, and his dog, who offered us a discount on entry and his services as a guide. We had to climb the volcano at a fairly steady pace to make it to the top before the cloud had risen off the lake and surrounded the peak. The terrain itself wasn’t slopes of ash like you might be thinking, it was rocky paths and dusty tracks through forests. There were a couple of rope swings along the way too, one of which swung out far and high giving you a monumental view of everything. Alex told us to leave her behind on a few occasions but we pushed on through and all of us made it to the peak to marvel at the clear view of the surrounding lake, volcanoes, villages and all round epicness. Going down, after a spot of lunch, was a little bit easier but still a fair amount of effort. Even though the guide left us just before we got to the top, his dog and the stray followed us all the way back down keeping us company along the way.

On one of the nights, we went to get some food at the local party place, which we had been told descended into carnage later on. It started of quite lively but nothing too amazing, a few drunk people falling over and breaking glasses (I actually think it was the same guy) and a bit of live music. Then as the drinks started to flow, the music got much better and there was a good vibe going on. Towards the end we went to chill a bit next to the fire pit down by the lake side and some young kid was trying to show card tricks to people. I felt sorry for him as nobody was interested and he only had half a deck of cards, so I took his cards and showed him some tricks. We stayed down there until we were kicked out due the place was closing.

The next thing I know, we were walking through the village with a group of 30-40 people, trying to avoid the police, to find a dock where we got on a boat to go to a psy-trance rave on the other side of the lake. There wasn’t too many people there and the music was rubbish (unless you were on psychadelics) but the location and set up was really good. They had done a good job with the décor but unfortunately no matter how much you drank, the music wasn’t getting any better and the first boat home was 6am. After a few hours, there was a few people who want to head back, and where there is demand, the local captain duly supplied. This was where the fun began.

First off, we had to walk through the water to get onto the boat as there was no dock and the boat couldn’t get close enough to shore due to the risk of it getting stuck. Once everyone had got on the boat, the weight of all the people caused the boat to get stuck and it was unable to leave. The boat was quite cramped and although I could see they needed help to push the boat, I was unable to get past. After 5-10 minutes of a few guys struggling and the boat not moving, I forced my way past and jumped in the water to lend a hand. The water was over knee height and even with 5 of us pushing as hard as we could, we were still going nowhere. There were lots of people sat there, in the dry of the boat, moaning that they were not going to get home. It took Alex to jump in and help out before the rest of the guys on the boat realised they were being absolutely useless. Now with 10 or more people in the water and much less weight in the boat, we managed to rock the boat free and get it moving. This was when then panic set in as everyone had to get back in the boat before it drifted off. I was right at the bow of the boat with another guy who took a stumble and threw himself into the water whilst rushing to get back in. I managed to grab his hand as he fell, preventing him from fully submerging and help him out of the water and back on the boat. As if this wasn’t enough, the crossing on the way back was like the Bay of Biscay with, what felt like, the constant threat of capsizing and the risk of imminent death. But we made it back safe and sound in the end, if not a little bit wetter than when we started the night.

After a few days on Lake Atitlan, it was time for Flowaine to go home. During their visit, I had learned something new about both of them too. Flo, for some reason, always gets his food last out of all of us, even though we ordered together. Sometimes the three of us had finished our meals before Flo had received his plate, and ironically he is this slowest eater out of us all. I also learnt that Owaine has this inability to walk without shoes on his feet. It causes him to lose all his sense of balance and makes him look like a drunk 90 year old man doing an impression of someone from Monty Python’s Ministry of Silly Walks. If I had a video I would post it, but we were too busy rolling on the floor with laughter to do anything about it. Joking aside, it was amazing to see the guys out here, and a shame that they had to go so soon.

Now it is back to the two of us again, and having just seen how many words I have just written, that’s where I will take off from next time. Well done for making it this far and if you did it in one go, that’s extra points for you.